love actually

one of my favorite christmas movies of all time is love actually. everyone has that one movie that they must watch around the holidays. traditionally, its something like a christmas story, its a wonderful life, rudolph the rednosed reindeer, or how the grinch stole christmas. some prefer the newer classics like the polar express, four christmases, or this christmas [a personal favorite, starring chris breezy pre-abusive behavior]. love actually is not traditionally a christmas movie. yes, it takes place in winter. yes, it is holiday themed. yes, there is snow and school concerts and presents and holiday parties. but its so much more than that.

i discovered love actually by accident. you know, in the golden days of movie rentals, before on demand. and it was one of those days that blockbuster was bare. and ooh, how cute a love story. and aww, im in love so let me rent it and enjoy all the love. i make myself sick sometimes. so i rented it, completely expecting to be sobbing into my cookie dough and sighing at how wonderful love is.

WRONG. the opening line:


"whenever i get gloomy with the state of the world, i think about the arrivals at heathrow airport. general opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but i dont see that. it seems to me that love is everywhere. often, its not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but its always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. when the planes hit the twin towers, as far as i know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. if you look for it, ive got a sneaking suspicion. . . love actually is all around."

the entire movie is based on the idea that love comes in so many different forms. and it really is everywhere. so while most of us are out there searching for true love in the form of a counterpart, were forgetting to see the love all around us. our parents, siblings, family members, friends, coworkers, past loves, neighbors. we often overlook love in an even simpler form, kindness. the gas station attendant who brings your change quickly and with a smile, the patient driver who lets you cut in front of traffic, the stranger who holds the door for you at the store, the tall man who reaches the box of your favorite cereal down from the grocery store shelf (a kindness i have taken advantage of many times!). so while you may not be experiencing the love youre looking for, you are fortunate enough to have the simple pleasures of love all around you.

that being said, it is a love story. there are stories of approximately twenty-five people intertwined in the movie. they are all in the throes of love, in some form. the man who just lost his wife, the love of his life. his stepson, who is in love with the coolest girl in school [cutest quote from a twelve year old EVER: lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love]. the old couple - the sad and lonely wife, and her husband who is contemplating cheating. the sneaky secretary encouraging the affair. the woman in love with her coworker, but with baggage to go for miles. the coworker, who has no clue. the young man looking for love in all the wrong places. the man whos girlfriend cheated and is scared to find love again. the young, very very shy and unsure, man and woman feeling out their first serious relationship. the old single man realizing he wasted away the loves he had. his best friend, who realizes the same, and comes to terms with the fact that theyre all each others got. the couple with a language barrier pulling them apart. the public figure who cant have a relationship without it being in the tabloids. the young girl who gets pulled along for that ride. the newlyweds who may be married just because it was the right step to take. and my personal favorite, the best friend, who is madly (and unfortunately) in love with his bff's new wife.

which brings me to the single most romantic moment in a movie ever. the movie is witty, funny, and charming. it brings a smile to your face and warms your heart. but this moment is the reason i continue to watch it:

"with any luck, by next year - ill be going out with one of these girls [pictures of supermodels]. but for now let me say, without hope or agenda - just because its christmas and at christmas you tell the truth. . . to me, you are perfect. and my wasted heart will love you until you look like this [picture of a mummy]. merry christmas."


i will NOT spill the beans about the rest of this scene if youve never seen it. heartwrenching. and hands down, the most beautiful, selfless act of love you will ever see. who makes this shit up? somewhere in the world, there has to be a man with the balls to throw every ounce of his pride on the table for someone he loves, knowing that it may not ever work. where is that man? ah. its so moving.

and of course, given my current state of fml, i find myself taking advice from the extremely worldly twelve year old sam. the rest of the movie is great. but no matter how im feeling that particular time ive watched it, at the end, sam gently reminds the glutton for punishment in me:

"but you know, the thing about romance is... people only get together right at the very end."

ha ha. theres hope for us all :)