say NO to recycling!

"be not the slave of your own past. plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far. so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old."  [ralph waldo emerson]

another year is coming to a close. i strongly believe that in order to successfully move on to your future, you must let go of the past. i also strongly believe that i am not so successful in that realm. if i were much better at letting go of the useless parts of my past, i would be well on my way to a happy future. one day at a time, eh? upon discussing the recent surge in going green, my good friend a mentioned that although we should be doing our part, perhaps recycling (when it comes to the unhealthy men in our lives) should be left out. and i couldnt agree more.   [on a very brief side note: i am doing a little jig of journalism joy. the sheer power of my words - ha ha - have caused another very fun friend to join the blogworld. please check out the very witty a here and giggle along with me at the sheer genius of shower stall ingenue.]


back to the boy debacle. recycling paper, plastic, and glass is good for the environment. recycling the losers, the whores, and the jerks is not good for my love life. case in point, last night (or morning? does 430am count as morning?) we were stranded in a hospital parking lot, in a frozen car, with no way home or even worse, no blankets to achieve the slightly drunken level of pass out we were going for. dont ask. its just as ridiculous as it sounds. and we were there for good reason, love you l. this may not sound to you like an emergency, since the hospital was feet away and we could have curled up next to the homeless folk, who were clearly much smarter than us, to grab a couple winks while we waited. but apparently it was. so instead of thinking logically, we recycled. amongst the men in our lives phones we chose to communicate with were:  two vacation flings - ironically from the same town which is way to far to rescue us from, a "best friend" who keeps in constant communication throughout the day whether jumping from an airplane or changing his socks, an actual best friend who maybe should no longer be doing the rescuing after all this time and multiple times his heart has been broken, an extremely shitty exboyfriend who was probably busy with some random skank, and quite possibly some other gentlemen who havent come out of the woodwork yet. and i know. any two someones who change their facebook status via cellphone at 430am to "this shit is bananas" can not be trusted to make rational choices. but really? we are clearly not in the right mindset to start 2010. we need to cut the bullshit and make some smart choices. more later on the many facets of going green, copyrighted by a. there are so many nooks and crannys to discover before january1. 

love actually

one of my favorite christmas movies of all time is love actually. everyone has that one movie that they must watch around the holidays. traditionally, its something like a christmas story, its a wonderful life, rudolph the rednosed reindeer, or how the grinch stole christmas. some prefer the newer classics like the polar express, four christmases, or this christmas [a personal favorite, starring chris breezy pre-abusive behavior]. love actually is not traditionally a christmas movie. yes, it takes place in winter. yes, it is holiday themed. yes, there is snow and school concerts and presents and holiday parties. but its so much more than that.

i discovered love actually by accident. you know, in the golden days of movie rentals, before on demand. and it was one of those days that blockbuster was bare. and ooh, how cute a love story. and aww, im in love so let me rent it and enjoy all the love. i make myself sick sometimes. so i rented it, completely expecting to be sobbing into my cookie dough and sighing at how wonderful love is.

WRONG. the opening line:


"whenever i get gloomy with the state of the world, i think about the arrivals at heathrow airport. general opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but i dont see that. it seems to me that love is everywhere. often, its not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but its always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. when the planes hit the twin towers, as far as i know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. if you look for it, ive got a sneaking suspicion. . . love actually is all around."

the entire movie is based on the idea that love comes in so many different forms. and it really is everywhere. so while most of us are out there searching for true love in the form of a counterpart, were forgetting to see the love all around us. our parents, siblings, family members, friends, coworkers, past loves, neighbors. we often overlook love in an even simpler form, kindness. the gas station attendant who brings your change quickly and with a smile, the patient driver who lets you cut in front of traffic, the stranger who holds the door for you at the store, the tall man who reaches the box of your favorite cereal down from the grocery store shelf (a kindness i have taken advantage of many times!). so while you may not be experiencing the love youre looking for, you are fortunate enough to have the simple pleasures of love all around you.

that being said, it is a love story. there are stories of approximately twenty-five people intertwined in the movie. they are all in the throes of love, in some form. the man who just lost his wife, the love of his life. his stepson, who is in love with the coolest girl in school [cutest quote from a twelve year old EVER: lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love]. the old couple - the sad and lonely wife, and her husband who is contemplating cheating. the sneaky secretary encouraging the affair. the woman in love with her coworker, but with baggage to go for miles. the coworker, who has no clue. the young man looking for love in all the wrong places. the man whos girlfriend cheated and is scared to find love again. the young, very very shy and unsure, man and woman feeling out their first serious relationship. the old single man realizing he wasted away the loves he had. his best friend, who realizes the same, and comes to terms with the fact that theyre all each others got. the couple with a language barrier pulling them apart. the public figure who cant have a relationship without it being in the tabloids. the young girl who gets pulled along for that ride. the newlyweds who may be married just because it was the right step to take. and my personal favorite, the best friend, who is madly (and unfortunately) in love with his bff's new wife.

which brings me to the single most romantic moment in a movie ever. the movie is witty, funny, and charming. it brings a smile to your face and warms your heart. but this moment is the reason i continue to watch it:

"with any luck, by next year - ill be going out with one of these girls [pictures of supermodels]. but for now let me say, without hope or agenda - just because its christmas and at christmas you tell the truth. . . to me, you are perfect. and my wasted heart will love you until you look like this [picture of a mummy]. merry christmas."


i will NOT spill the beans about the rest of this scene if youve never seen it. heartwrenching. and hands down, the most beautiful, selfless act of love you will ever see. who makes this shit up? somewhere in the world, there has to be a man with the balls to throw every ounce of his pride on the table for someone he loves, knowing that it may not ever work. where is that man? ah. its so moving.

and of course, given my current state of fml, i find myself taking advice from the extremely worldly twelve year old sam. the rest of the movie is great. but no matter how im feeling that particular time ive watched it, at the end, sam gently reminds the glutton for punishment in me:

"but you know, the thing about romance is... people only get together right at the very end."

ha ha. theres hope for us all :)

open mouth, insert foot

its christmas. theres no time to blog. but i feel as though i owe a little christmas cheer. much of this time of year has me depressed with my current state of love. thats neither here nor there, nor something i have the time to get into right now. im trying to be very thankful for what i have and enjoying the time i get to spend with those i love. in honor of trying to keep it positive, im leaving you all with a little... gift, if you will. i hope this brings a smile to your face, thinking about just how easily i walked myself into this trap.

last night, at a local bar [props to kavs] after a very fulfilling dinner with old friends, i was chatting with my usual crowd of kavs friends, and we got on the subject of jersey shore. its like word vomit. and i literally fell into the rabbit hole. just call me alice, because i could not have made this any easier for my friends.

"the bookie // i dated this summer // looks just like vinny from jersey shore."

at which point, one of my best guy friends nearly fell out of his chair. he asked which part of that sentence he should address first. thinking back, i should seriously have contemplated that sentence. but yet again, i spoke without thinking. story of my life. but i guess if i never did things like that, i wouldnt have a blog for anyone to read. hahahha so heres an early present. merry christmas all :)

tales of texting

what is it with text messages? can you not pick up the damn phone and make a call? i just dont get it. in my life currently, there are a handful of males who just do not call. its like text fest 09.  a girl can only respond to so many texts before her head spins off. and really, do you lack the very few human communication skills it requires to successfully complete a phone call? if so, then houston, we have a major problem. there are times when it is appropriate to text. and there are times when you need to be slapped. upon inviting myself into a conversation five of my very brightest, most beautiful student council girls were having, i found out the feeling is mutual. apparently, as young as seventh grade, boys are learning the art of shady texting. the love world is very much in trouble if boys are starting that early. there is absolutely no hope. so in between eating a ridiculous number of homemade cupcakes [thanks ker!] and stringing polar express'esque jingle bells for first graders, we came up with the do's and dont's of texting. my ever-efficient sc secretary a even wrote them down. if i only had a scanner. the stick figure illustrations and icing smudges really add to the professionalism of this very serious document. ha. i couldnt make this shit up if i tried, so here it is, compliments of my girls:

1. texting is not acceptable [or appreciated] as the first form of communication. aka, if you asked someone for their number and have never talked on the phone before, you cant NOT just text them the first time. you need to call.

2. if you receive the text from #1, you can NEVER respond. this just encourages him to never ever call you and continue this texting crap.

3. if he asks you to go somewhere, like the mall, [or in adult life, on a date] through text, you have to ignore it. if you feel like you cant, you should definitely fake other plans. (maybe then hell learn how to call you!)

4. texts are absolutely acceptable when asking one-two questions, responding to a simple thought, or just to say hi and i miss you during work hours.

5. after a relationship is fully formed, texting is totally fine as long as it doesnt end up being the only way you talk to each other.

6. if you ever hear things like "i texted you back babe" or "didnt you get my text?" etc. dump him now! hes lying! its alot easier to lie about texts than phone calls. hmmm think about it.

7. dont ever get into an argument in text messages. it gets waaay too confusing.

8. if youre dating someone (or married), dont let them get lazy. an 'i love you' text does not mean the same as flowers or a nice date. and dont settle for that!

9. [this ones the most important!!!] be strong. if he really wants to talk to you or see you, he needs to show you. if hes only willing to text you, hes not going to try very hard.


omg are you not obsessed with these girls? i think number8 is my fav ha. i swear, i just helped a little. these were their ideas. can you not tell from some of the seventh grade wording? haha i had to leave it as is. i told them theres a future for them in the "hes just not that into" sect of literature. theyre such sweethearts, real good girls. and theyre already dealing with this bull. unfortunately, i had to be the raincloud letting them know it doesnt get any better. which is when i found myself spilling guts to a very entranced group of thirteen year olds. i think it was at this point that i became a cross between their newest charity case and the reigning queen. half of me felt like the girl they make sad eyes at and try to "makeover" after school. the other half felt like i was joan of arc, knocking down walls and opening the portals to the world of love. very superhero.  needless to say, thats when we got to talking about the text debacle. and the lack of communication amongst the boys in our lives. they tried to use the term, men, when talking about my life. bahhh, i almost snorted rootbeer out of my nose. i told them when i actually meet a man, ill let them know.

honestly, it was very refreshing to hear their optimism for my love life. i feel like everywhere i turn lately, people are married, pregnant, buying houses, making a lottt more money than me, and generally living a more adult life. which is awesome for them. but when i think about all the above, i have quite a bit of anxiety about that part of my life. i tend to look to the past instead of the future. at this point last year, i was getting settled into my first really adult home, with the person i thought id spend the rest of my life with. i was beginning my career, taking grad classes, keeping a household, and generally doing very "grown up" things. and then the floor caved out from under me. maybe the timing wasnt right. and maybe we werent right for one another. and maybe none of it would have worked. but it was all i knew for a very long time. and its what was supposed to happen. i never pictured 'what if' the path took a turn. i lost that comfort that my life was moving along like clockwork. that things would end up happily ever after. and every once in awhile, i need a kick. like today, it was nice to know there are people out there, albeit teenagers, who think i have a lot of years to be live it up before i settle down. and i dont care what anyone says, they give good advice. not only did they tell me i have plenty of time to settle down, they made it VERY clear to me that i should not settle, at all. they gave some interesting opinions on the boys in my life. ha, theres a story for another day.

but for those of you stuck in the world of texting tragedies, i hope these words of wisdom from delco's finest helped a little  :)

awkward turtle lives!

omg. FINALLY. ive been begging my friend k [who is super interesting and funny but doesnt think she is] to start blogging with us. as it stands, we talk / text / call / email daily. so why not blog? if you know anything about my job, you know they are internet nazis. you want to communicate with the outside world? no! you want to google something to actually use in your classroom? no! you want to go on youtube, facebook, myspace (no interest here, but still!), ebay, etsy... scholastic book clubs for crying out loud? nope. sorry. blockedddd by the strongest firewall ever. i swear my school bought, who am i kidding, stole the cia's firewall. its insane! point of this story is, the only things i can read are emails [that dont get spammed] and blogs. so the people i actually enjoy talking to and hearing their stories, need to start blogging! which brings me to k. shes hilarious. she didnt want to start a blog forever because her life is "boring." well folks, shes got quite the story to start her blog off with a bang. literally. ha ha im funny. but i sent her a fml email yesterday to tell her about my debacle. which ill get to. maybe. and she emailed me back with a revelation that made me spit my juice box clear across my desk. in front of my third block class. who then wanted to know what surprised me to that extent. obviously, i could not relay the information. so here it is.

if you know what an awkward turtle is, or you dont and are extremely curious now to know what in the hell could have that name, or you feel as though your life is a series of turtle moments (like ours!), please check her out here . shes fabulous people. and im really hoping we all get details of the very first starter turtle moment. because i already heard it. and its awesome. needless to say, im very excited. its about time k! so much fun to come!

ohhh emmm geee

i really havent blogged in five days? weird. and im not even done very v yet. too busy throwing my life down the sink, i guess. cant really talk about it. im not quite ready. who knows if i ever will be. god, i cant even formulate thoughts right now. on the upside of this [not so]merry-go-round [and round and round and roundddd again], i got compliments today. from not one, not six, but NINE of my students today. ranging from the very sweet "wow you look really pretty today" to the very honest "youre not grumpy like you usually are" to the very awkward "why are you smiling so much?". well kids, i would tell you, but id lose my job for inappropriate conversation with a minor. in the words of the original omg girl, and yes i shouted it in my bed at 7am in true fashion, OHHHH EMMMM GEEEE. there are no words. i mean, there are. but i cant really find them right now. so for the moment, just relax and enjoy the fact that whoever created glee thought it appropriate to include a stones song. which i appreciate in enormous amounts  :)

"you can't always get what you want. but if you try sometimes, you just might find. . . you get what you need."

gleek'ing out

there are twi-hards. there are people who believe they place spells at hogwarts. there are "the situations" and jwoww's and snooki's. there is "tell me what you dont like about yourself" and "please pack your knives and go". there are speidi's and brangelina's. in todays world, there are nicknames for juuust about any craze youre into. and now there are gleeks. and ladies and gents, i am a huuuge gleek. ok so i know i promised a few days off from my ramblings. but i simply could not help myself. short and sweet (as if anything i ever say is short -- or sweet for that matter!) glee is the best show on television. i know, ive mentioned it before. but the finale was just on. and i cannot physically wait until the next season starts. already. the first season comes out on dvd december29 and i will most likely be reviewing episodes over and over til it starts again. if youd like to join. case in point, tonight one of the songs they performed was kelly clarkson's my life would suck without you which has awkward sentimental value to me. if you dont know the story, please ask. one of ears' many memorable moments. what a winner that kid is. but seriously, it was such a good version. set with a montage of bits and pieces of dance moves from all their numbers throughout the season. it was like a recap of the good times. ah please watch. they are phenomenal singers/dancers. the characters are literally the people you knew in highschool. and will scheuster is seriously hot. looove it.

time for trigiani

bahahahaha is that not terrific? stole if from my friend j's little sister d. a fellow blogger! its actually quite perfect (and sad) for my life right now. ahhh, story for another day. i just started adriana trigiani's new book, very valentine, which means i will probably be mia until i finsih. during my sabbatical, definitely check out some of her others. the woman is a literary genius. i am very biased, and will be the first to admit, when it comes to italian-based lit. trigiani captures my soul. its like shes sucking me back into the lives my ancestors lived. dont get me wrong. those of you unlucky, no wait unfortunate, scratch that... non-italians [jk mejor] - will still enjoy her. shes a beautiful writer and her stories come to life in your hands. "youll laugh, youll cry" all that bs is true. but your heart will break and burst for her characters. i find so much of myself in them. the emotional roller coaster is worth it. she does not disappoint. ps: lots of her stories take place in jers or close to. take that, mtv.

beatle mania

true life: im a huge beatles fan. i know, i know. theyre old. theyre dead. theyre broken up. their music is totally dated. theyre before my time. im a huge dork. blah blah. all of those things may be true. but it doesnt discount the fact that they are hands down one of the best bands ever. their music is amazing. 

that being said, i dont like ALL of their music. the early stuff was very boy band, cheesy stuff that their record company made them record to please the masses. its very bubblegum. the talent is there, the voices, the instruments. but its just not real. its very superficial. what i really like is the darker stuff. the music they recorded once they had established themselves. once they were making enough money that their record company said 'ok, you guys rock. do what you need to do.' basically, the music they made after they started getting high. ha. but true. and while i dont condone going to work under the influence, maybe thats what worked for them. because the result was some of the best music ever created. 

case in point, although the beatles as a band have been dunzo for quite some time, their legacy lives on. one of my alltime favorite movies, love actually, features a acapella version of all you need is love at a wedding, orchestrated by a friend to surprise the bride and groom. the movie across the universe is basically a modern musical, set to versions of many beatles songs, including characters named jude and prudence - get it, hey jude and dear prudence? and the most heartwrenching redone version of let it be [if you havent seen it, please youtube asap]. if you take a trip to vegas, you can see cirque du soleil's love that recognizes just how fab songs like come together and lucy in the sky with diamonds is. it just so happens to be my favorite song. not sure why i relate, because its about drug addiction, buttt the words are insane. and duh, rockband just made a version entirely made up of beatles songs. thats like a ridic big honor for bands, right? rockband is like a phenomenon right now. 

most people i know probably think im strange for loving the beatles. part of me feels like i need bell bottoms and hippie flowers in my hair when i listen to them. part of me thinks i should be my mother. part of me thinks i need to grow mj in my closet (a little nd reference, if you will). but i cant help it. everyone has guilty pleasures. i guess the beatles are one of mine. and maybe they were smoking god knows what when they wrote the songs. but like i said, maybe it worked. they rock out. and you should rock out to them. 

WWGMD?

well for one thing, hed be my hero. the last two times i went to ac, i dropped gods name. and "what does he think, hes god?" doesnt really apply anymore. he kind of is. it was like i told them i knew the real god. so thanks for that, maniotti.

right now, life is a mixture of fabulousness and majorly sucking. its not even like its somewhere in the middle. just eh. no. its like, one day im ltd central. the next, i want to crawl under my bed with a bottle of wine. i cant even keep up with myself. im trying to stay positive. but its really hard. the holidays are a pretty tough time to be single. i guess i always knew that. but i havent had to experience that for four years. and i aint doing too good. last night i cried while my fam decorated the tree. tonight im going out to have a rendezvous with my friend crown. not alone, mannn. im going with friends. that would be really unfortunate. but still. its wednesday. im trying to think of the good, NOT the bad.

speaking of the good. . . cant believe i forgot this! ive been paying car insurance since i was sixteen. my dad pays it in full at the beginning of the year, and pays himself back monthly from what i give him. or so i thought. my ridiculous dad has been saving all of my money. in the safe. in our basement. how very goodfellas of him. and theres quite a significant amount of money down there. so when having the umpteenth discussion about my very close to night-night car that i put massive miles on per week, he told me i should just buy something new. to which i responded, are you crazy? im broke. and then he told me. so i cried. and so did my mom. were emotional people. so apparently im buying a car!

this is the nissan rogue, my reigning favorite:

 

i also like the ford escape:

the honda crv is cute too:

so its on to the test drive! im pretty pumped! i definitely want a crossover/small suv. my car literally weighs like twelve pounds. when it rains/snows/sleets/hails OR when theres ice/water/wind it totally sucks. its like being in a gokart. i need something bigger and safer. which one to get though?! theyre all in the same price range. so now i guess it depends on how they drive. wahoo!