[my] clean blanket

"tomorrow i start with a clean blanket."

[linus van pelt - charlie brown comics]

i consider myself very lucky to have found a kindred spirit in my induction mentor c. it helps that she teaches (and loves) middle school language arts, devours books by the day and enjoys the relaxation of a weeknight martini. but more than that, she has so many qualities of a great teacher and friend. i learn from her everyday and continue to cherish the time we spend together. though this year it seems the positive moments at school are few and far between, i can attribute most to situations where c was present. for my birthday, she made a bigger deal than was necessary. and the gift she gave me has made life just a little bit easier. the mug she gave me features a cartoon drawing of linus and snoopy, with the infamous blue blanket. written on the inside of the mug is the above quote. there is no way c could have known about what would happen recently. but this is what i mean. she just is this wonderful person. its almost as if she knows what i need before i need it. im very lucky shes a part of my life. with everything that has happened this year, and especially in the last week, its becoming difficult to go along like everything is normal. its getting harder to get out of bed and go to work. i used to look forward to the beginning of the week, and im starting to resent mondays. im hoping this feeling will pass, and the pain and insecurity will become more dull as time goes on. but until then, i am trying to start each day with a clean blanket. to wipe the slate clean and know that certain elements of my life are out of my control. i need to focus on what i can and do my best to work through this. so with another monday looming, and the knots in my stomach growing by the minute, i feel as though i need to take a step back. to start tomorrow, and everyday, with a clean blanket. thank you c, for believing that i am strong enough.