the saga continues. . .

ive had a little bit of blogger's block lately. it seems that every ounce of my energy goes to making sure my homeroom doesnt end up suspended on a regular basis. and honestly, i couldnt be happier. my kids are tougher than ever, but im truly getting a kick out of them. browsing my unpublished works, i noticed i had quite a few "gems" from last year, waiting to be posted. so in honor of my favorite little hoodrats, heres a little seventh grade love:

the second half of last year proved to make me truly earn my paycheck. as the students got more comfortable in their own skin (and my classroom), the jokes started to flow...

just a few short days before my birthday, m told me i looked damn good for 30. i reminded him that "damn" was not in our vocabulary and i was NOT 30. he took that as his cue for a chance. oh please.

although we butted heads multiple times last year, one of the sassiest girls in my homeroom also made for a few good laughs. especially this one in february:
me: have you ever heard someone say "you shouldnt throw stones if you live in a glass house?"
k: ummmmm 50cent?
me: seriously?! and "if you got a glass jaw you should watch your mouth" right?
k: holy shit, miss l. you so hood.
me: oh yes, im very hood. finish reading.

spring fever brought the good times. never have i ever gotten punched in the jaw by an eighth grader. ohhhhh wait...

me: what do i reallyyy hate?
various students: bad spellers. traffic. techno music. red nailpolish. chili dogs for lunch. math. people who dont recycle. brown markers. diet soda. emily dickinson poems.
me: whoooa really?
f: face it, miss l. you be drinkin haterade for breakfast.

things got really ridiculous in may. my kids were slowly "checking out" for the school year. on one particular day, the students had to use vocab words in original sentences to show proof of their meaning. t wrote - the young money crew is goin thru tumultuous times. when i asked for an explanation, he said "times is tough. weezys locked up." needless to say, i accepted it. and it was times like those, that i found myself questioning whether i had checked right out with them.

not to be outdone, june went out with a bang. a new student j, obviously on leave from whatever school she was currently failing the 7th grade at and vacationing with us in hopes that wed pass her along unknowingly (happens more than youd like to think), brightened my day with her adorable charm and good manners. sarcasm much?
me: you need to try and fit your life into a 6 word memoir. for example, william shakespeare said "to thine own self be true."
j: im done. (counts on her fingers) "i hate language arts and you."
me: hmmm. (counting on mine) "enjoy your big fat F, sweetie."

after a funfilled summer of dreams, it was back to reality. i was faced with a new crop of lovelies and quite worried that the pure unadulterated entertainment of seventh grade wit would not measure up to the previous year. not to worry. this years crew is already giving me a run for my money.

as of the second day of school, my homeroom was on cafeteria probation (i couldnt explain that if i tried). a week later, they were banned from music until they could "stop using the f word," j told the secretary to kiss her chocolate ass and j took off his pants in my classroom.

i will say this. although the kids in the past have been funny, my new crew blows them out of the water with one-liners.
j: youre comin to our homecoming game right?
me: yes i promised.
j: well we got you something you might need. (t hands me an umbrella)
me: please explain?
t: just want you to be prepared when we make it rain out there.

a few days later, j hands me a bunch of mums, freshly picked [aka stolen]. when i asked what they were for, he told me his mother instructed him to always bring a date flowers. however, i think he was confused. his idea of a date was the following days detention. inappropriate?

GOD I LOVE MY JOB!  :)