the era of the wheat bread

you may be thinking ive officially gone off the deep end. wheat bread, huh. ive dedicated an entire blog to the worlds most boring food? or maybe im finally curbing my carb-tastic diet? pshhh cmon. i know i am one of the few people out there who still says no to wheat bread. i just cant help it. dont get me wrong. if i happen to grab the wrong lunch from the fridge and end up with turkey on wheat, ill eat it. honestly, what wont i eat? but i wont enjoy it! its not like the worst food ever, its just...blah. and do not even get me started on the kind with the nuts and seeds in it. woof.

this brings me to my comparison. theres a point, i promise. when referring to a certain gentleman the other day, i compared his personality to that of a slice of said wheat bread. probably not the nicest thing ive ever said, but (if you know me at all) also not nearly the meanest. hes not mean-hearted, unintelligent, or annoying, just boring. keeping in mind, his accent is to dieee for. i could honestly close my eyes and listen to him say nonsense things for hours. and it doesnt hurt that hes a phenom kisser. however, part of me thinks that i should stop looking at these absurdly random positive factors, and concentrate on the fact the he is about 25% of the guy im looking for. but im stopped by the much larger part of me that thinks im being too critical. he is, in fact, quite a man-catch. he has what i often refer to as the mr. right trifecta [job. home. car... for those of you not yet familiar]. and we have a very brief, somewhat stilted, history. and if im being completely honest with myself, which im so not good at, i would have to admit that my best foot has not quite been put forward. dont worry, debbie downer has left the building. i will not bash myself, i know im a catch. but i agree with the fact that until you really get the opportunity to know someone, you are given small glimpses into their life. and unfortunately for my current situation, those snapshots show a little more of my wilderness. some extra vodka here, a little crazy dancing there, throw in a public display of overaffection with a stranger, and there you have it. a very distorted picture of my life. its not me. but its damn close to what he knows of me. so in reality, this quite mature boy/man may not have seen even close to the 100% of the established woman hes looking to spend his time with. which brings me back to the ever popular "you shouldnt throw stones if you live in a glass house" mantra. cliche, but so true!

and this "wheat bread" theory does not just apply to this mister. i can really use it to refer to them all. and by all, i mean the somewhat interesting bits and pieces of guys in my life right now. its far too late in the evening for this wordsy woman to attempt any form of math, especially that of percentages. however, upon stretching my number brain (with the help of my bff a - who found herself contemplating these very same thoughts) i came to the conclusion that a combination of all these fellas would equal the 100% im looking for. in layman's terms, if i could build mr. right from the randoms floating around my love life, id be golden. married in months. until next time, ill be dreaming of big j's accent, combined with b's humor, coupled with j's generosity, and l's conversation, all in the physical package of new j. and obviously, thats not an option. but god, wouldnt it be fab?