#50miles

i dont think ive ever run 50 miles.
in my life.
total.

but the other day i started.

my friend h is giving this awesome woman's challenge a shot, and i think its worth it. i jogged my first two miles on friday. but, as it does, the weekend interrupted my newfound goal. and honestly, i reallyyy didnt feel like even looking at the treadmill sunday. but i did. i stared that sucker in the face. and with the help of some friends (yano... sclub7, cake, master p, belinda carlisle, wiz... the whole eclectic gang) i chalked up another 2.5 miles. i also cut a little bit of time off my first jog. holla!

im trying to manage my anxiety naturally, and hoping a little exercise will help. besides, if i actually manage to run 50 miles this month, or even remotely close, im going to celebrate big time. its gona be rough, but im up for the challenge.

anxiety.

the anxiety monster is rearing its ugly head. has been for about two weeks now.  so when my good friend s stopped me in the hall yesterday, seconds before i made my (cough, cough secretary. im sick. i need to take a half day) escape - i knew it was all over. she suffers from bouts of anxiety herself, and can spot mine from a mile away. my coworkers think im sick, my parents think im overworked, my boyfriend just thinks im a bitch. but she knows. and forces me to know.

i am overworked. thats just a fact. i do it to myself. but when i add more responsibilities, and dont give myself any time to rejuvenate, i become so much more than overworked. i understand there are those much busier than myself and probably working longer hours. but when i work, i work hard. and i dont discount the amount of time, effort, and perfectionism i put into my entire day at school.

teaching 100 students/5 days a week.

lesson planning & paper grading. 

developing curriculum.

attending common core workshops.

managing a student teacher.

organizing student council elections.

running red ribbon week.

managing the canned food drive.

speaking of drive... i thought long and hard on my hour drive home. no music, no iphone, nothing but dead air. yesterday was definitely a day for just my thoughts. it hasnt been this bad for quite some time. so i know there must be more. and i have to break it down. which is when i remember, its thursday. with the hurricane and school closing, my monday became wednesday, which caused me to forget that it was thursday. grad school thursday. "if you miss a class not due to contractual issues with school, your grade will be lowered a half a letter" thursday.

attending a five hour class once a week.
writing multiple page papers.
reading an entire textbook.
completing research.
paying out of pocket.

and thats when i started to get hungry. i know, not very linear. but true. i remembered that the only thing id consumed all morning was a large coffee from dunkin. and it was already noon. and this happens. every. single. weekday.

skipping lunch.
eating horrifically unhealthy things.
not eating at all.
not working out.
not even walking.
stress eating when i think of all this.
drinking emergen-c for breakfast.
consuming way too much coffee.
not consuming nearly enough water.
replacing water with beer and wine.

ahhh beer and wine. the first way i attempt to replenish what is being zapped from my life is to increase the social aspects. sometimes this works. this time it didnt. what little time ive had in the past few weeks have been spent busier than usual. in an attempt to try and forget the stressful parts of life, i have been overdoing it on the good stuff, too.

attending too many sporting events.
drinking too much.
accepting too many invitations.
spending money.
not sleeping enough.
eating horrifically unhealthy things (again).

all of this makes me a cranky girl. a cranky girl who finds any and every little teensy thing her normally pleasing boyfriend does completely and utterly unacceptable. not even major stuff. ALL stuff. which in turn releases the dragon...

fighting. and more fighting.
arguing just to argue.
trying to win.
exhausting myself from crying.
giving myself a headache.
creating the worst possible scenario.
worrying.
and more crying.

all of which led me to be in bed at noon on a workday. while the nap helped, as did the numerous hours of crying, it didnt fix. and i woke up this morning convinced that things needed fixing.

taking the much-needed day off.
sleeping in.
eating cheerios for breakfast.
drinking oj and skipping coffee.
running (ok, jogging) two miles.
updating my photoaday challenge pics.
chatting with friends.
painting my toesies.
signing up for yoga.
packing for a fun weekend.
starting a holiday countdown (my fav!)

sometimes its nice just knowing youre not alone. my friend s was clutch in talking me off the ledge, while still helping me realize sometimes im just not okay. and thats okay. and my friend h has lots of wonderful methods that work (some of which i used today!) for curbing some of the anxiety without heading to the docs. and its really helpful that my boyfriend b hasnt gone running for the hills yet. i know the subject is really uncomfortable for him, and he definitely doesnt understand it, but hes really supportive. and if hes making the "shes crazy" face, at least hes got the decency to do it while im not around... heres to getting back to normal.

belated blogiversary

now i normally dont forget things when they revolve around me... however, this little sucker slipped my mind. saturday was my THREE YEAR blogiversary. holy canoli, ive been blabbering for this long and havent run out of things to say? well that part shouldnt surprise anyone, really!

took a little nostalgic trip down memory lane. for those of you that have come with me, thanks. ive enjoyed capturing all of my

blog starting, 

high school reminiscing, 

student inspiring, 

lifetime capturing, 

football loving, 

new-car buying, 

quarter century reaching, 

epiphany having,

emotion numbing, 

question asking, 

teacher supporting, 

vodka repping,

choice making,  

success celebrating, 

gangsta training, 

single life mortifying, 

coffee resisting, 

anniversary avoiding, 

baggage carrying,

new year resolving,

project completing,

(and so much more) life. 

i hope youll stay. its really been incredible having somewhere to put my thoughts the past three years. and recently ive been checking out the blog world for whats out there. up next? worldwide domination! kidding. just a little growth... stay tuned! 

my first birchbox - september

after waiting about a month for my invitation... birchbox finally sent me the yes email!!! [any luck yet, friends i referred?] i read comments on facebook from birchbox members about their september disappointment. so i started to get a little nervous.  but i have to say, when it arrived, i was pleasantly surprised! im a big fan of a: getting mail and b: cute things. check and check! wish i took a picture of the wrapping - very pink, very pretty, wrapped in cute tissue and tied with a ribbon. oh well, ill capture october. anyway... on to the contents (which i have now officially tried) in order of how much i enjoyed them least to greatest:

6.  the nexxus products smell really clean. unfortunately, with my thick, long hair im only able to use the sample once. and i dont know about you guys, but i need at least a few rounds of a hair product to tell if it works. eh, we'll see. 

5.  not the biggest fan of the awkward belongs-in-a-childhood-bedroom lavender color of the twistband hairtie, but it works wonders on a ponytail! i heard through the birchbox grapevine that theyve come in boxes more than once, so im hoping for a cuter one next time - also contemplating buying more.

4.  i tried the color club nailpolish on my toesies. the texture isnt great (i usually use essie or opi) but after a few coats, the color is awesome! im totally in love with that color right now and while i bite my fingernails think it would be too much for fingers, its perfect for when my toes peek out.

3.  the kate spade twirl perfume sample is the first thing i tried. its the spritsy kind (which i love!) and smells pretty yummy. i also like that it lasted all day. since i wasnt afraid of it spilling everywhere like most samples, i threw it in my purse for emergencies. 

2.  the tili bag while totally unnecessary is also incredibly cute. its a reusable heavy-duty ziploc bag, basically. but how adorable is it? please check out their site - theres plenty more where that came from. and clearly, im the audience theyre looking for. because i would definitely buy more.

1.  and finally... my favorite. benefit's POREfessional is glorious. it barely leaves the tube and its already silky smooth on your skin. its not sticky or watery or overly thick. within seconds, i didnt even feel it. my face looked awesome. and my makeup went on super-smooth. if i splurge on anything from my september box, this will be it.  

so there you have it. for those that were interested. the way i justify it - i spend way more than $10 a month on random products, so why not enjoy a little luxury?  and really, who doesnt love getting mail? present mail?!  will post october's box much more quickly! i promise!

mad instagram skillz

ok so maybe thats being a little aggressive. im not quite there yet. but im getting better! and using effects and backgrounds i havent tried!

 day4: #what i read. and thats not even the half of it. 

day5: i feel ya, bro. i failed too. clearly i dropped the ball and didnt take a #shadow pic.

day6: #todayimthankful for mimosa saturdays with my awesome boyfriend.

day7: #light - give me some props here, im not usually the abstract beauty type photographer. this is a big step for me. love how the window glows. 

ive also really enjoyed checking out my insta-friends photos. maybe next month more buddies will join us...? in other news, im planning on uploading my september (first) birchbox. ive gotten around to using/trying all the products and thought it would be fun to throw my reviews out there into the world.  crossing my fingers that all the friends i referred get their subscription email soon, so we can share the excitement!

#photos

so i packed just about the best lunch ive packed this entire school year on tuesday. was i super hungry? nah. i just wanted to kick photoaday ass. unfortunately, teacher days are very hectic and #lunchtime is not to be taken for granted. so by the time it rolled around, i had totally forgotten about the photo op and scarfed THE. ENTIRE. THING. skinny, i know. the only thing left was "dessert"...

and today? well... a stressful teacher training, a day away from kids, an evacuation/scare during the workshop, a new fall hair color all #happened. but the part i enjoyed the most (and that made me giggle) was this... 

until tomorrow... 

up for the challenge?

my best friend (in life and in blog world) h juuust about had me convinced to try a monthly photo challenge in august. then i realized its my craziest busiest downright most stressful month of the year. so i put it off. well, a little birdie via email told me its time! and honestly, im settling into a relaxed if somewhat military-esque (and yes i know thats an oxymoron) routine at school, my student teacher is doing his thang, and my grad teacher is on temporary hiatus from her everyday life on mars. and i thoroughly enjoyed blogging daily thankful notes during the month of november last year and little something good's in may. it truly is those mini-moments that make you appreciate the day. so im giving it a try. im uber jealous of this woman's blog and her knack for taking creative pictures. im also more than impressed with everyone and their fancy use of instagram. so maybe ill be a whiz by the time this is done. here's the list:

i think im going to have to stretchhh some of these, especially todays considering its 8pm and im not longer standing, nor do i plan on leaving my bed. id like to think of it as creative interpretation, not cheating. let me know if i fall too far off the wagon.

day1: where i stood. 

ok, so i didnt stand in all of those today. but i have. and i will again. and to be fair, i tried on three pairs before deciding on the ones i actually wore. whatever. ive never been one to interpret the rules exactly as theyre written. 

until tomorrow... when i must photograph my lunch. which means ill have to sit down for long enough to eat lunch for once. thats a challenge in itself! 

well...

here we are again. my classroom was finished about a month ago. but honestly, so was i. finished. done. dead. exhausteddd. with not even enough time in my week to catch a half hour television show, catch up on reading the blogs i follow, or even (gasp) check facebook. i was completely and utterly overwhelmed and therefore, cut off from the worlds i love.

ah, but wait. all papers are graded. the lessons are ready. the outfits ready for tomorrow. grad school work is done. top chef is on my tv. and, BONUS! ive showered. [sidenote: is it just me, or does it sound like im recreating the beginnings of the night before christmas...?] its time to disappear into a little bloggy. i promised a classroom reveal, for those of you still interested checking my blog. and i am quite proud of what ive accomplished. especially now that its september 26, and things are still remotely in order. tadaaaa!

after four years of it, im a teensy bit sick of sixty bajillion seventh graders asking to borrow my stapler/tape/tissues and everything else under the sun. this WHOLE AREA is theirs. add a little positive motivation via the incredible, still almost unbelievable to me deal i got from vistaprint/groupon and my bucket fillers - and this is probably my proudest spot.  i present my "student center"...

 this is my "teacher center" in the front of the room. the color-coded bins are by block, for collecting student papers.  the wire shelves hold looseleaf, composition books, and packets/worksheets for the week. its like my go-to area while im teaching, so i dont constantly have to run back and forth laps around the room to find my stuff. my OCD is kicking in, and the missing purple bucket is driving me insane (c'mon, you know you were wondering, too!). its there now! i had to MAKE IT - but thats a post for another day. anyway, they hold popsicle sticks with student names on them, also color-coded. in the steal of a deal bookshelf are workbooks, dictionaries, thesauruses, etc.

below are some "front of the room" bulletin board/white board shots.  loving the voice levels poster (another vistaprint) and wish i had a close-up because the descriptions make me giggle. i made everything else on the bulletin boards and the whiteboard labels. 

 my student teacher lives here. looks a little bland, but this was before he moved in. hey, i was kind enough to get him a comfy chair and add a little autumn ambiance. 

 this area is under construction. the pencil boxes are for my homeroom kiddies. little back to school gift. once they went byebyes, this area became the "time-out center" for unruly 7th graders who just need a, well... time out. we use this system to refrain from sending tons of students to our disciplinarian. its meant to be a chill spot (make sure to check out the closeup of another poster i love). ill have to post a true after shot now that this area is done. the bulletin board cant be finished yet, because im waiting for the first round of benchmark scores. will reveal when thats done, too! anddd my incredible storage closet is also back there.

and finally. where the magic happens. just kidding. but yes, this is my desk/area. although theres rarely a day when i spend much time back here, i like to smile while when i do. the wall next to my desk features important info, homemade magnet gifts, my horton poster (how fitting), and photos of old homeroom classes. my filing cabinet and personal bookshelf are also there. my desk is never ever again this clean until june25 is old and rusty, so i covered it with a cheapo plastic tablecloth and some border paper to make it a little less painful to look at. more pumpkin accents and all the stuff i use daily sit on top. add my super awesome calendar and the comfiest chair that ever existed and voila! heaven. or as close as it gets while im at work.

whew. just looking at all these pictures and remembering the blood sweat and tears that went into this setup is making me tired all over again! i have completed a few more cute classroom additions since i took all these pictures so those will be up soon.  for now, i think ill go to sleep... 

making progress.

thank god for summer school. and pinterest. because without those two things, i would have been much less productive this summer. barring any unforseen disasters, i plan to teach summer school again next year. it really kept me in "school-mode" and had me working on new ideas throughout june/july.  and once summer school let out, i started quite a few pinterest-inspired projects for the new school year. all instead of spending my usual spare time eating chips and watching reality tv. on to the progress. . .

when i left my classroom in june, every thing to my name was packed up and stored in closets. our rooms are thoroughly cleaned over the summer and everything has to be away. nothing on the walls or boards, in the desks and bookshelves, or on the floors/windows. all furniture is stacked and placed in the hallways.  once the closets are locked up, it looks like no one has ever lived there.

and of course, the room had to be labeled with this:

a few weeks ago, i received a very special letter from my superintendent. congratulating me on my TENURE! ive also been trying out some projects. i followed a pinterest tutorial to try making those adorable tissue paper poms that everyone uses for classrooms and parties. not bad, but i need some practice (its a littleeee lopsided):

and i made a classroom setup chart. ive done this in the past and you wouldn't believe the amount of time it cuts down when i make my way into my room for the first time at the end of summer. this year, i photocopied the chart so i can draw arrows, jot notes in pencil, etc. without ruining or smudging the entire thing.  the basic set-up stays the same for the entire year (most of the outside walls are immovable objects). the student desk arrangement changes almost monthly, but by photocopying the chart, i can just draw the new setup and photocopy it on top of the old.  

AND this year... i took it a step further. for those of you without my level of ocd, i apologize for this picture. i used mini post-it notes to label and organize the entire classroom. im sure its incredibly hard to read and a little dark but its ev-ery-thing. from what goes on or in all available furniture to where specific posters hang on the walls.

yesterday, i took the chart with me to my classroom. and as i accomplished each area, i ripped off the post-it and threw it in the trash. it was like crossing items off a to-do list (and you know how i feel about that!!!). and it also was a super easy way to keep track of what i had or hadn't finished yet.  bear with me, but it worked so well - i would contemplate making one for packing back up, cleaning the house, running errands, ahhhh the possibilities are endless!

last week, i was feeling a little more than anxious. my relationship had hit a little rough patch with both of us stressed about work and what little "us" time we were managing to enjoy. we were at odds about seemingly everything. i was also overwhelmed with the amount of directions ill be dragged in starting in approximately two weeks. it all started to sink in. and i was nervous about the many things that still needed to be done. one of the major stress relievers for me is organization. when i can look at something and it just looks polished and makes organizational sense - and may even go so far as to save me time/energy/stress in the future - i start to feel myself calm down immediately. so i completed a few mini-projects, compliments of the target dollar section and a little creativity, for my classroom.

my classes are color-coded. each student has a colored folder that matches all drop boxes and materials for their class. these are my master versions :)

for absent students. they check the file box when they return. 

i have a few more projects in the works but plan on only showing those off in my classroom reveal.  so, you'll have to wait a week or so.  but i may be posting again today [gasp] because i just finished a fab book that needs reviewing. toodles.

nightmare on dalton street.

around this time every summer for the last five years, ive gotten the nightmares. i wish i knew how to write in psycho slasher movie writing a la alfred hitchcock

or maybe drippy bloody rocky horror 

so i could type in that font. the nightmares are that serious. its almost time for school to start and its not uncommon for me to gasp and/or shriek, bolt straight up, and realize ive been sweating profusely in my sleep. about things a normal person would laugh at. in addition to the normal, run of the mill teacher nightmares... i have a few more joining them this year.

1. i finally applied to grad school. and got in. and completed the process. v-e-r-y quickly. my first class starts on the first day of school. 

2. im getting a student teacher. also on the first day of school. with me all day every day until christmas. 

3. i started receiving mail from the many projects student council is responsible for completing in the fall. like, all before winter break. 

4. i drafted my first blog entry for our kidblog. and realized just how big of an undertaking this project is. 

5. im contemplating whether or not ill be able to fit the tutoring program into my already busy schedule. but i know i need the money. its whats paying for grad school (and that new set of tires i just got). 

in addition to all that, the usual troubles... i have students rostered. BUT i have received no schedule, no special ed support schedule, no testing schedule, no information about interventions, no program for interventions, no word on benchmarks or gates, no answer for questions on vocabulary study, no new grammar materials, no print shop copies. and no level of organization that i need right now. its an understatement to say that im a little more than stressed. im trying to eat well and exercise, organize and plan what is in my control, and enjoy the time i can with friends and b. wish me luck.